I'd Die To Be With You Tonight
by Birthday Girl
Summary: Songfic – HM pairing. Harm’s POV
1. I'd Die To Be With You

I'D DIE TO BE WITH YOU TONIGHT

Author: BirthdayGirl

**For all those that truly love JAG, please visit ****and sign the petition to have JAG released on video and DVD! I think after 10 seasons they can release the series! **

A/N: This is my first fanfic, please be nice and write me lots of lovely reviews, or even just to bitch about Mic and Renee ... lol.

For those of you who don't know, I'd Die To Be With You was sung by Jimmy Barnes, one of the best Australian singers ever, GO AUSSIES!! Yes, I am Australian, and I would also like to point out that Brumby is not really Australian. His accent is so terrible!! I hate him, and Renee, so they will not appear in this story at all, as I feel so unclean when they come on screen!

DISCLIAMER: I obviously do not own JAG, if I did Mac and Harm would have been bonking for years now, and Mic and Renee would be on a secluded island somewhere so we do not have to see them ... JAG belongs to all the talented writers, producers, so on and so forth, blah blah blah. Suing me would be a pointless exercise, as I am only a poor high school student!

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20/03/04: THURSDAY 0600 – HARM'S APARTMENT

Harm pounded his pillow.

"Damn!"

He just couldn't get her out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, her beautiful face filled his vision, and the smell of her perfume swirled around him. He groaned, he was hard as a rock again, and he needed release so badly. Trying hard to think of other things, he learnt over and turned on the radio, and the raspy voice of Jimmy Barnes filled the apartment.

**I've been thinking 'bout you night and day**

**Sure been restless since you went away.**

He HAD been restless. She'd gone away before on assignment, but it had never affected him like this. He couldn't concentrate, pacing a line into his office carpet. Harm knew he was wearing a hole into the Admiral's patience, but he couldn't help it.

This time was different. Mac had come to his apartment the night before she left, and their relationship had changed in a split second.

18/03/04: TUESDAY 2300 – HARM'S APARTMENT (FLASHBACK)

Harm heard the knocking at the door, and abandoned his work at the table to answer it. _Who could it be at 2300?_

"Mac! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"Is that any way to greet a friend?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Sorry, come in. I just didn't expect you. Aren't you supposed to be out on assignment? Is everything alright?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine, calm down flyboy," she laughed.

He led her to the lounge room and sat down on the couch.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"I just thought I could come over to talk," she said hesitantly. "I know we haven't been ... close lately ... I really miss you Harm. I want my best friend back," she sniffed.

_Was his tough Marine crying?_ "Hey, Mac, you've always got me!" he exclaimed. "Come on, look at me," he asked.

Mac looked at him sadly, with something in her eyes that Harm couldn't identify. She moved closer to him, and the air crackled with sexual tension. Then suddenly, she leant over and pressed her lips to his. He stiffened for a second, then gathered her in his arms and deepened the kiss. In a heartbeat, the kiss was out of control. All of their passion and loneliness poured out, and the kiss turned hot and hungry.

Then she suddenly pulled away, and stared at him, a mix of desire and fear in her eyes. Then she fled.

"Mac! Hey, come back!"

But she was already gone.

**You took something from me against my will,**

**Touched a nerve in me that's tremblin' still.**

20/03/04: THURSDAY 0600 – HARM'S APARTMENT

She had always surprised him, but never like this before. The kiss they had shared burned hotter than any other he had ever experienced, and it scared him to death. But Sarah Mackenzie had always frightened him.

**Well, you just snuck up behind me,**

**When my resistance was low.**

**And now's a hell of a time to find I can't let you go.**

She had snuck in under his radar and straight through his defences, going where he had allowed no one else to go. Nobody knew him like Mac, and it scared him the lack of control he had around her. She made him want to lose control, to surrender to her fire. But every time this happened, he ran for his life, because in his world, if you lost control, you died.

But he was tired of running. He was sick of hiding his feelings, of damping down his reactions to her. He had been doing it everyday for years; it had almost become second nature to him. But she got through sometimes, like at her engagement party. It was meant as a friendship kiss, but the minute her soft lips touched his, he was lost. With her, he always was.

With a sigh, he turned to the clock. He had to get up soon anyway, and it was going to take a mighty long cold shower to make him forget those fantasies that visited him during the night ...

21/03/04: FRIDAY 0800 – JAG office

As soon as he got to work, he checked his email.

**Got your first letter just the other day**

**Since I got it I can't put it away**

TO: 

FROM: 

SUBJECT: Missing me?

Hey Flyboy!

Hope you doing ok without me, I'm sorry for dumping all those cases on you. But you know how it is, I promise I will make it up to you when I get home. How does dinner at my place sound? We can sit down and talk about what happened before I left ... I will ring you when I get back.

NinjaGirl

**I just sit here and read it over and over and over again,**

**As if the words that you wrote could bring this hurt to an end.**

_How was she able to do this to him? Just as he thought he was forgetting about that night, she reminded him all over again ... _

"Damn!" he swore as he tried to cover his obvious physical reaction to the thought of Mac.

"Sir? Are you ok?" Lt. Sims asked, popping her head around the doorframe.

"I'm fine Harriet. Thanks." _... Don't think about Mac, don't think about Mac ..._

**Well you just left me here waiting**

**Left a wound that won't heal.**

**God you're so far away you don't know how I feel.**

Somehow, he got through the rest of the day without thinking of Mac, and drove home for the night. Thankfully, he had a whole weekend to relax, and hopefully, he could sort out this thing with Mac.

21/03/04: FRIDAY 1814 – HARM'S APARTMENT

**I count the hours each time til you call**

**I won't ever let you leave me, makes no sense at all.**

This was driving him insane, waiting for her to ring. It had never bothered him before, but then, he had never been so aware of his feelings before. _If I have my way, she won't ever go on assignment again! _he thought to himself. "Yeah, like that will ever happen," he laughed to his empty apartment. _It would go down real well. "Sorry Mac, but you can't ever do your job properly again because I can't stand the thought of you leaving me." Yeah right._

**And if I have to follow you all around the world**

**I am willing to do anything, to get to you girl.**

He had proved that, when he went to Paraguay for her. Why had it all turned out so wrong? They definitely needed to sit down and sort things out, they had been dancing around each other for months. He wanted his best friend back; he wanted their easy camaraderie they had.

**You just left me here waiting**

**Left a wound that won't heal.**

**God you're so far away you don't know how I feel.**

21/03/04: FRIDAY 1950 – MAC'S APARTMENT

Tonight was the first time he had ever been early. He stood nervously outside her apartment, waiting for her to open the door. _What am I, 16? I am not some teenager on his first date. Get a grip on yourself Rabb!_ he ordered himself sternly.

**So say you'll take a chance on this heart of mine**

**Don't make me the one that you left behind.**

**I'm not saying anyone's wrong or right**

**Just know I'd die to be with you tonight.**

_Please let her feel the same way as me ... _

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Please review, they are the things that sustain me through another chapter ... so be nice and you may get more! (Of course, if this story sucks, send me reviews and tell me, so I may never inflict this pain on others again! lol)


	2. Wishes

A/N: I am aware that if anyone is actually reading these stories, you may be pissed at me cos I take so long to put more chapters on ... but I'm a busy high school student, so go easy! And guys, please email me or something so I can give you the site to sign the petition to get JAG released on DVD and VHS! Cos I want it!! Although you lucky Yanks will most likely get it first ... grrrrrr. Yes, well, on with the story!

"**Wishes"**

21/03/04: FRIDAY 1955 – MAC'S APARTMENT

Mac paced back and forth in her apartment. It was 1945 and Harm was due in 15 minutes ... _or 20 minutes, if I know my flyboy_ Mac laughed. _Wait a minute, MY flyboy? Where the hell did that come from?_ "Why am I so fucked up?" she groaned to her empty apartment. What did she want? Was she finally ready to admit to herself that she wanted more than a friendship with Harm?

**Sometimes I wish that I could turn back time   
I check myself 'cause I was way out of line   
I only hope that we can start all over again**

_God, they'd wasted so much time! _She'd almost lost her best friend ... the thought of a future without Harm made Mac shake. They'd come so close to saying goodbye for good, after they'd survived so much. Even with everything between them, they'd always managed to stay close ... except when it finally looked like they had a chance to get together. Why was that?

**I must admit that I was more than wrong   
I used your heart like a stepping stone**

It wasn't all his fault. They were too alike, they both had so many insecurities and barriers ... In Sydney when he had rejected her, she'd sworn she wouldn't go back to him, but she was powerless with Harm ... she always had been.

She hadn't meant to kiss him that night ... she just wanted to talk, to get their friendship back. But the minute she saw the concern in his eyes, and smelled his nice clean scent, she was lost. But Mac wasn't sorry. That kiss was one of the hottest kisses she ever had. But now what did they do?

**Please forgive a fool who doesn't know what to do   
What do I do?   
**

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. _That can't be Harm!_ Mac thought to herself. _He's never early!_ She opened the door to be confronted with the sight of a very sexy Harmon Rabb Jr holding a dozen roses, all different colours.

"Harm! You're early! And you have roses!" she exclaimed.

"Anything for my Marine," he replied cheerfully.

Mac's heart jumped to her throat, and she stared at Harm. _Did he just say MY Marine?_

He stared at her with surprise. "Mac, you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Um, yeah, sorry. I'm fine. Yeah. So you ready for dinner?"

"Yeah, but first I wanted to give you this," he said, handing her a small box.

"Why? What is it?"

"It is a late birthday present. I'm sorry I missed your birthday," he said with a sad smile filled with regret.

She stared at him for a second in shock, then opened the box to reveal a beautiful necklace.

"Oh Harm! It's beautiful!" she breathed.

He took it from her and turned her around so he could put it on her. She could feel the heat from his body behind her, and a wave of longing flooded through her.

"So," he said, turning her around to face him, "What did you wish for?"

**And I wish that I could have just one more chance   
And I wish that I could be your pillar of strength**

**And I pray that you will see that what I'm saying is true   
'Cause I, I wish for you**

_Oh God, could he read minds?_

Mac laughed nervously. "Let's get dinner started, hey?"

"You have to tell me what you wished for!" Harm said.

"If you're good I might consider telling you later!" she retorted with a smile.

**In my mind I can see your face   
You're on the breath of every word I say**

If anyone had told her one person could become so involved in her life, she would have laughed. Yet Harm was her best friend, he knew everything about her. She would hear a song on the radio, and wonder if he'd like it, or when something happened, she looked to him. It was just part of her friendship with him, they were so close ... but she wanted to be more.

21/03/04: FRIDAY 2141 – MAC'S APARTMENT

After dinner, they sat on the couch.

"That was lovely Mac," Harm said, rubbing his stomach. Mac just stared, the movements of his hand slowly tugging his t-shirt up, exposing his taut body. "Mac?"

She lifted her head and saw the longing in his eyes. He leaned over slowly, and kissed her, thrilling her with the feel of his erection on her thigh. Winding her arms around his neck, she pulled him on top of her as she surrendered to the flames engulfing them. Suddenly he pulled back and held her at arm's length.

"I'm sorry," she gulped, fighting back the tears that were coming. _He didn't want her ..._

"Don't ever be sorry. Mac! Listen to me. Is this what you want? I don't want to rush you into anything, and I would die if we lost our friendship ... I have wanted you since we met in the Rose Garden, and you looked so incredibly beautiful ..." he rambled, as a smile grew on Mac's face. He was nervous. Even more nervous than her, if that was possible.

He continued, "And every time we ever looked like working it out, I managed to stuff it up. God, I am so stupid!"

**If there's anyone to place a blame on it's me   
Baby can't you see?   
**

Without Harm noticing, Mac got up from the couch and stood in front of him.

"And I really want you so badly and ..." he trailed off as he looked up and realised she was standing in front of him. "Mac?"

She walked forward and straddled his lap, knees either side of his hips.

"Do you wanna know I wished for?" she asked sexily.

Harm just nodded dumbly, her close proximity was causing his brain to short-circuit.

Mac leaned forward and whispered in his ear "I wished for you flyboy."

**I wish for you   
I wish for you   
Oh baby I wish ...   
I really miss you baby   
I think about you baby**

And with that, Harm finally gave in to the power of Sarah Mackenzie. Pulling her face forward, he kissed her with every bit of longing and desire he had in his body.

"Let's take this to the bedroom sailor."

**I wanna hold you baby (all night long)   
I really need you baby   
I wanna hold you baby**

Collapsing exhausted over Mac, Harm rolled to avoid crushing her, dragging her on top of him.

"Sarah?"

"Uh-huh," Mac replied tiredly, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

"I love you," he whispered.

Slowly Mac lifted her head to look into his intense gaze.

"I love you. I've loved you forever," he said quietly.

And with that, Mac simply buried her head into his chest and cried.

"Sarah? Oh god, I'm sorry. Mac?" he said worriedly.

"Just hold me Harm. Please."

After she'd finished crying, she lifted her head and kissed him, a kiss full of love and longing.

"I love you too Harm. Will you stay with me tonight?" she whispered to him.

"Honey, I'll stay with you forever."

**   
Stay (won't you stay) with me   
Just stay with me**

This song is called Wishes by Human Nature (another Aussie band).


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